


Diurnal Dreaming #14: Desire

by maven



Series: Diurnal Dreaming [14]
Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-09
Updated: 2013-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-28 20:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/996159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maven/pseuds/maven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A change in relationship leads to introspection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Diurnal Dreaming #14: Desire

**Author's Note:**

> This series is mainly canon up to the end of Season 5. Everything after that is in the vague realm of "didn't happen"... sort of like the sequels to the Matrix and Star Wars 1-3.

Catherine walks into the break room at the end of her shift just as Bono breathes through the earphones hanging around my neck and right into my libido.

~Lover, I'm on the street. Gonna go where the bright lights and the big city meet. With a red guitar...~

She catches my eye as I watch her over my copy of the Journal of Forensic Sciences.

~...on fire. Desire.~

Greg, his back to the door, looks up from across the table. "Case bothering you?" he asks quietly. He's waiting for the same results I am, taking advantage of the delay to take a rare break.

~She's a candle burning in my room. Yeah, I'm like the needle, needle and spoon.~

I shake my head and turn from watching Catherine wash her coffee mug. "What do you mean?"

~Over the counter with a shotgun. Pretty soon everybody got one.~

"Your face just went all Spock."

~And the fever when I'm beside her... Desire, desire...~

She and I aren't equal. Not really. I'm the one who programs the VCR while she deals with the fundraiser at the door. I deal with mechanics and repairmen while she deals with salesclerks and waiters. I help Lindsey with her school work; she with her school friends.

~And the fever...getting higher.~

I've lost track of the conversation. "What do you mean?" I ask him.

~Desire, desire...~

"You know, no feelings. No emotion."

~Burning, burning.~

"You're not much of a Trekkie, are you?"

~She's the dollars, she's my protection. Yeah she's a promise in the year of election.~

"Nah, that's Archie."

~Oh sister, I can't let you go...~

I decide not to get into a discussion over the nuances in the difference between controlling your emotions and not having any. That's just something I can't verbalize at the moment. Not when she's smiling at me as she dries the mug.

~Like a preacher stealing hearts at a traveling show.~

Not when she's seducing me with her look...

~For love or money money money money money money~

... enticing by the simple act of breathing.

~money money money money money~

I used to want to be emotionless, to not feel.

~And the fever, getting higher~

But I can't imagine not wanting to feel this. I can't imagine not needing this.

~Desire~

"I'm going to walk Catherine to her car." I stand and fold over the magazine and hand it to Greg.

~Desire~

"Can I watch?"

~Desire~

I yank the magazine back and swat him across the head. "Down boy."

~Desire~

"I'll page you when the results come," he says, stressing the final word so much that I swat him again as she leaves the room.

~Desire~

She and I aren't equal. And when we dance, she leads.

~Desire~

And always, to paraphrase U2 some more, I will follow.

THE END


End file.
